Most of my life has been spent in ownership or management of companies, more specifically restaurants. At one point I had a staff of 150 people, I was newly married and my first son was on his way. I wanted to be successful in both life and my business but I also knew I wanted to be a successful Dad. The problem I was facing was that the two worlds did not work well together. I usually ended up working 6 days per week, 12-13 hours per day. I worked most of the time. Being a good dad was not going to happen on that kind of schedule. I started to look at ways I could change my life. How was I going to create balance and still have the same kind of financial freedom I wanted?
I took a mind opening training session that helped me to see where I needed to let go and where I needed to step up. I managed to take my 6 day work week down to 4. My relationship with my wife went from a 10 to a 20. I was able to be there for my son. The training I took taught me how to create the kinds of relationships that I wanted in my life. Over the last 23 years, we have gone from the restaurant industry to having our own training company that keeps us growing in our own lives while allowing us to support others on their journey to balance for their own.
People tend to think that they don’t have time to create relationships. The reality is it has nothing to do with time. Relationships are about the quantity of time rather than the quality.
Be Present –
In today’s world, we can all be sitting in a room watching the same movie. What you will find though, is some people will be on their phone, while others are on their computer. No one is present in the moment. We have to be willing to put away our distractions and focus on who we are with and what we are doing at the moment. This is necessary for building meaningful relationships. Quality time comes from being present in the moment even if it is a short amount of time.
Listen To One Another –
We are so busy in our everyday lives that we tend not to really take the time to listen to each other. Here in Discovery, we hear a lot of; “he doesn’t listen to me” or “she doesn’t hear what I am saying”. This happens when we are not present with who we are with. By focusing on what we have to take care of later that day or even tomorrow we miss out on what is being said at the time.
If you spend some time watching kids you will see that they are great at being present in the moment. They are about what is happening right now, not thinking about what comes next or what just happened. Instead, they are always present and in the moment surrounding them. Somewhere along the line, we lose the ability to live in the moment with ease. Instead, we choose to make other things more important. We start to worry about the what ifs. We tend to hold grudges from the past and in turn, forget to be present in the now.
In order to create relationships, we need to be present in the now. We need to be present for our kids, our significant others and anyone else that is in our lives. Today’s technological world has definitely contributed to the difficulty in making this a priority. With people constantly on their phones, snapchatting, tweeting, emailing and or texting, we have begun to see that as our main way of communicating. We build relationships with face to face communication and minimal phone conversations. It is hard to really know someone’s thoughts or feelings when you are only reading a text version of them. We can understand the words in a text. Although we will not really feel or know what truly matters to the person behind them.
We create relationships through our interactions with one another. We are not going to move away from technology but we do need to move towards a more personal way of connecting in our relationships. One that will deepen them and have them last. We need to put more focus on how we can connect and then spend our time, even if it is limited physically doing just that.
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Does this sound familiar?
- Money has been a source of limitation that dictates which opportunities are for you and which are not
- Your personal relationships are ok but they could be much better
- Health is important to you but has been difficult to make it a priority
- You have a greater contribution to make in the world but are either unsure of what it is or if it is good enough
If you answered YES to any of these questions, this could be the best 55 minutes you will ever spend learning how to get better results in all aspects of your life.